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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #639


I try to meditate every day. During the course of these meditations, I mostly sit quietly and observe my thoughts. There are a lot of them. Like mesothelioma commercials, they just keep coming. If I were to estimate, I’d say that ninety percent are, in one form or another, about defending my ego. The remaining ten percent have to do with everyday minutiae; e.g. making a mental note to find someone who can figure out why my Nest thermostat hates me, or wondering if I’m emotionally equipped to buy thermal underwear online. But getting back to that corrosive ninety percent. What is this ego exactly? It can’t be my body. If I were to lose an arm, my sense of self would not be diminished. In fact, it might be perversely enlarged when I start calling myself Captain Chuck Hook. So what is it then? Is there anything substantial that can be pointed at? The answer, clearly, is no. The ego is an illusion. A dream of is-ness. Which explains the almost constant mental noise. You can’t defend what doesn’t exist. All you can do is obsessively worry, resent, justify, and rationalize over it. In other words, the aforementioned ninety percent. One can only wonder what life might be like if we could truly rest in that knowledge. Imagine selfhood being synonymous with cosmic consciousness. Other than that ten percent of the time when we’re so pissed off by the AC running at full blast we finally summon the courage to buy long johns on our iPhone, we’d be pretty serene.

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1st Aired: 9 January 2020

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